too bad you live with your parents still
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
