Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
