a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Life is so much better after having sex.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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