apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
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