Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Randomize
