...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
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