Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
