Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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