what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
