I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Randomize
