I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
i just made my gag reflex go away.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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