Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
