Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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