You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
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