well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
