You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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