nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Randomize
