Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
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