New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
