Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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