i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize