theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
