I'm so fucking centered right now
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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