I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
