i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
