I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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