Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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