That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
