Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
