the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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