no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
