we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
He literally asked permission to hit on me
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
