I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
