A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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