woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
no you cant smoke seaweed
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
