We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
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