see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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