Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
