wanna go halves on a baby?
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
