Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Randomize
