that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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