the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
