Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
do herpes really smell.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
