if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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