i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Randomize