it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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