so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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