Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Randomize
