My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
