drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
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