she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
