Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
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