Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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