i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
literally had 100 drinks last night.
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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