you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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