Taylor Swift is so right about you.
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Randomize
