Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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