So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
