Midget sex pt 2 tonight
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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