i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
