the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
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