Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
my liver is dry heaving
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
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