Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
