After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
