I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
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