member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Randomize
