you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
My bed smells like the plague
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
