So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
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